Right above my right eye… MY right eye, not YOUR right eye, it would be MY eye to YOUR left… (there’ll be a quiz later)… there’s a little black bump. Kind of like a mole, but not really. Kind of squishy, but not really. It doesn’t hurt and I’d never noticed it before. It came out of nowhere.
Yesterday, the peep scooped me up, plonked me in my car seat and off We went to the Dogtor. We waited for a while, but Dogtor Elliott was nice enough to see me, without a reservation, so in We went.
Here’s how it went, from one peep to the other:
“How’d it go? I was getting worried! You’ve been gone longer than I thought and I didn’t meet you guys out there because I didn’t get out of my doctor’s appointment until late, and…”
“Hold on, he’s fine. She did a little needle aspiration and didn’t notice any unusual cells.”
“A NEEDLE???? ASPIRATION???? OHHHH…my poor baby, where is he? Stuart? Come here my baby, where are you?”
“He’s right over there. In the yard. Smelling some dirt. Or maybe eating something. Who can tell?”
“STUART!!!!!! COME HERRE! MY PRECIOUS!!!!
“Calm down! He’s right over there. He’s fine. She said, to be on the safe side, she’s going to remove it next Tuesday and send it off for a biopsy. So, we’ll have to take him out there really early and leave him…”
“OH MY ANGEL!!!!!!! HE’LL BE SO SCARED!!!!!!”
“…and pick him up in just a few hours. He won’t have to stay all day. The only reason she didn’t do it today was because he kept staring at her and she didn’t want him to know what she was doing. He won’t be all the way under.”
“OOOOOOHHHHHHH! MY BOY! Come here my baby!!!!”
“He’s fine. Everything’s fine. And he hasn’t gained any weight since last time – he stepped right up on the scale himself, he knows the routine – and everybody treated him like a celebrity and gave him lots of treats. He had a big time. People just love his eyes. All he did was eat treats the whole time.”
I’m no dummy, but y’all know that. Love me some treats!
By this time, I had sauntered into the house and given Her a little lick on the face. I don’t do that much these days, but I thought She needed one. Geesh.
So, here we go. Off to the land of peep worry. Me? I’m not worried in the least. It’s just an old man wart above my eye. We Scotties get those from time to time. Ain’t nothing but a thing.
But, the peep? It’s Her I’m worried about. See, her dogtor told Her yesterday that She’s allergic to me and suggested that I sleep somewhere else.
I. Think. Not. And so does the peep.
The saga continues. So, stay tuned. Seems lots of us Scots are having things removed and tested these days.
Speaking of Scots…I wonder if my ancestral home will vote “yes” or “no” for independence today? I couldn’t vote anyway because I’m an expat.