Now listen, see that blue pot? You know I like to sit up there and watch things. Lately, I’ve been poking my head over the edge and waiting for critters. They run in between the boxwood bushes. And dig holes to hide under the steps.
Remember this little movie?
Yes. You do. There’s something in there.
Last night I found it. It was after dinner time. The peeps were cleaning up. I was raising Cain after something. Barking my head off. Just like I did in that little movie.
When it came time for the peep to walk me around the house before bed, We saw it.
Yes. We. Did.
It was dead. Lying on the ground amidst the new guinea impatiens They’d planted last spring. The ones in the movie. I’d dragged it over the plants and left it there. All splayed out. Not a muscle was moving. He was one ugly critter.
She got all excited, yelled at me to get away from it, and congratulated me and called the dad peep and He got all excited and congratulated me. And then, They said something like this:
“Yeah, I’ll bet it’s playing opossum.”
“No it isn’t. The poor thing is dead and Stuart did it. Good for you Stuart! Really, it’s awful, but that’s what he’s been bred to do. And I’m proud of him. I don’t want him to think he’s in trouble. Do you think it’s gonna make him sick?”
“Because opossums are nasty and carry diseases. He could be hurt.”
“But he’s had his shots. He’s fine. You’re nuts.”
“No I’m not! Our baby could be hurt. I’m gonna look for blood.”
See what I put up with? So, the peeps were glad I’d killed a opossum that’s been living under Our little garden shed space. Under the steps. Actually, I was kind of proud of myself. Sort of.
Until hours later. It. Was. Gone. No more opossum splayed out in the backyard.
Later, in the middle of the night, not a creature was stirring. We were nestled all snuggly in Our big bed sawing some zzzzz’s.
And We heard something gnawing. Sounded like it was in the room with Us. Chewing on some wood.
That darned opossum – or something – crawled into the house somehow and is probably stuck between the wooden floors. Up in the crawl spaces between the first floor and the second floor (that’s the second and the third floor for my friends across the pond.)
I live in a real spook house. With dead critters who are really alive. And beasts who live in crawl spaces and attics.
Oh my. Wonder what’ll happen tonight? The weather’s turning. It’s the time when mice start coming in from the outside.
Opossums, too. Rats, too. EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!
Don’t worry peeps, I’ll protect you.