If it’s too cool, it ain’t mine


Really, peep? Really? If I could slap my forehead I would.

Sometimes the peeps make me laugh. And sometimes I make Them laugh. But, this’ll make YOU laugh. I think.

The other day We were out taking Our morning walk and I strayed over to the grassy part between the sidewalk and the curb. Snoopervising. You know. Stuff like that. I cocked my leg, emptied my lizard and did a big back step. Why? Because that’s what we do.

Anyroo, since I was on the other side of Our garden border, the peep didn’t see me until I was doing my backstep.

So, what does She do? She looks for a pile ‘o poo thinking that I must have done my business. Because I always backstep after doing my business.

So, She looks really hard to find the poo. She does and picks it up. But – if you could have seen the look on Her face – She wrinkled up Her face and says, “EEEEeeeeewwwwww! This is too cold to be yours Stuart!!!! GRRROOOOooooosssssss. Gross. EEEeeeeeew. EEwww.”

Moral of the story: if it’s too cool, it ain’t mine.

I wish you could have seen my peep. Funny. Very funny.

Now, if We could only have found the culprit who left his/her poo in my yard and didn’t pick it up.

What You Learned Today:

  • Dogs poo.
  • Dogs pee.
  • Peeps pick up poo. Immediately afterwards. If they’re lucky.
  • When they’re not lucky, they may just pick up somebody else’s poo.
  • That’s. Just. Not. Nice.
  • Hey!!!! DING DING DING…..We have winners! Yes, Saturday’s Where in the World? was the James River in Richmond, VA! Y’all are smart.

About The Scottie Chronicles

Winston welcomes you to The Scottie Chronicles - a blog that began in 2009 as a voice for Stuart, a more than memorable black, brindle and white Scottish Terrier who captured hearts around the world. Stuart passed suddenly in December 2015 from cardiac hemangiosarcoma, a nasty cancer that took him far too early. If you love Scotties, please follow along. Arroooo!
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27 Responses to If it’s too cool, it ain’t mine

  1. sue ellen says:

    oh, Stuart…. our dad peep is the sooper-pooper scooper !! And yep…finding others little treasures is a bonus scoop…(bla) especially in the doggie park =( …
    ArOoO♪ l&m

  2. Kismet says:

    It sounds like a Perry Mason adventure. “The case of the Cool Poo”.

  3. theguster says:

    Stuart, you had us rolling on the floor laughing at ’emptied my lizard’ We never heard that one before, is that a Southern expression? That will be our new phrase!

    Whoever took a dump on your property and didn’t pick it up is very rude, indeed!

    McDuff & Mom

    • You know, I thought “drain my lizard” might be a bit too risque for the younger set, butt, what the roo? I said it anyway! So, here’s another one, girls “drain their lillies” – like that one? Yes. You. Do.

      I don’t know if it’s Southern, but since everybody in my house is and always has been Southern, then, let’s just say yes. (And it’s a lot nicer than the crazy, senseless, shenanigans going on across the South here lately.)

      ArOOOOO! Stu

  4. Lee says:

    Slap your forehead Bawheheeeee
    Sweet William The Scot

  5. corkscot says:

    Sidney does the back kick just for fun. We feel your pain at being accused.

  6. yes – who was the culprit who pooped in your yard?

  7. nordhuesn says:

    The peeps laugh at me ( Duffy) cuz they say I have a poop dance I do when I’m ready to go. See, it’s like my little happy jig for doodi. Andy and I also do the back kick when finished pooping. We don’t do it after emptying the lizard, though. Us Scotties sure are a hoot aren’t we? Aroooo!

  8. Why is it our dogs’ poo is so so fine but every other dog’s poo, is so gross?

  9. Riley Puppy says:

    OH, Stu, this has simply got to be the funniest post ever! BOL! We cant stop rolling around and aroooo-ing! Good one, Stu! Many Thanks!
    We love you!
    Riley-Puppy and Tessie

    • Thank my peep. She’s the funny one. Picking up somebody else’s poo. Can you imagine? I mean, if She weren’t dogsitting for somebody else and HAD to pick it up. It’s the funniest mistake ever. If I do say so myself!

      Love you back! ARrOOOOO! Stu

  10. gentlestitches says:

    facts of life because if you dont.. no life. xx

  11. PigLove says:

    Oh.dear.piggy.heavens. That is hilarious pal. I love it! But you are so right. We only leave steaming piles of poo. The humans are welcomed. Snorts with piggy laughter. XOXO – Bacon

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