It’s one thing to say, as so many of you have, “when the time is right, a furry friend might find his or her way into your life.”
That’s a comforting thought. It comes from a place of love and understanding. It’s OK to say that to us.
But it’s not OK to say, “So, when are you getting another one?” Or, “Are you getting another one?”
My own sister said that to me. In a text.
As if a life with four legs is just another object in your house. Something to own. Something to replace something else with. Or, worse yet, something to collect.
I get as mad at those comments as I did when people called Stuart a skunk.
And my response always involves children. Would you call a child a “skunk” if he or her had a stray streak of white or grey in their hair? Or some other distinguishing mark?
No. You wouldn’t.
If you lost your son of 9 years and 9 months, how would you feel if someone asked, “So, when are you gonna get pregnant again? Soon? Ya gonna have another one?”
I know, I know, our animal companions aren’t our “children”, but they are living beings who are the center of our lives and mean the world to us.
They can’t speak. But they communicate like nothing else. They give love and they need love. They need nurturing and guidance. They need nourishment – physical and emotional. They need playtime and education. They need attention.
But boy, do they ever give so much more than they get.
The Scottie Chronicles - Winston's World 
I totally agree with you but, from my experience, a new furfriend will arrive when the time is right for you (even if you don’t think it is) Leah arrived by a pure accident…husband got his email address wrong after years of using it, how bizarre, and weirdly, as a result the Princess arrived, although completely unexpected, as you can see from our blog, adored and loved as it should be
Sending you lots of loves and hugs
Princess Leah and Mum Julie xxx
You’re so right. Stuart came to us when we weren’t looking. But who could resist? I believe Stuart will decide when the time is right! As you did Princess Leah! Smart.
😦 Sometimes people just don’t get it….
Sad but too true.
We agree. Well said. We know people mean well, but our hearts ache and mourn just as much as it would for the 2 legged ones. Our sissy and your Stuart deserve some time to grieve fully, however long that may be.
“However long that may be.” Spot on.
Stuart will send you another companion when the time is right and when he’s given his TOTAL approval!!!! For those of us who have gone our whole lives without having human children of our own – our animals are our children. It wasn’t my choice not to have children but it was definitely my choice and my pleasure to have animals in my life – they each entered my life in their own time and it was always the “right” time. It’s true though – some people just don’t “get it” .
Hugs, Pam
You’re right all the way around. Stuart will make it known. Just as BoBo made it known that Stuart needed us. I can’t imagine not having animals as friends. Thank you.
Oh my…do I ever agree with you. Stuart is Stuart…there will never be another exactly like him. Can’t be replaced. In time another sweet soul may find his/ her way into your life…until then, hold the memories close. ( and some folks don’t understand. they never will, how sad for them)
How sad for them is so true. Well said.
Everybody’s situation and especially feelings are different. When Kenzie left us, we had Kaci in a week. We knew at 11½, Ky’la wasn’t going to live forever so we preempted and got Kali so Kyla could train her and had three for a while. It worked for us but may not work for you.
Yes, yes! But your week was right for you. And how lucky for Kaci and Kyla!
We agree on this. Squawk.
I agree with all you said. Even tho we have Skye and it has been 2 years since Raelinn went over the Rainbow Bridge I still get teary thinking about Rae. She was a very special individual and I loved her so much. Skye is totally different and I love her too. when the time is right Stuart will let you know.
I believe that’s true. Thinking of Raelinn right now. And Skye, too, of course!
So true, they make a big ole spot in your heart and sometimes a new anipal will just not fill the void till the right one comes along. I have become so accustomed and soothed by Edgar’s physical presence that if he were no longer with me I don’t know what I would do – I know that he could not be so easily replaced, but I would miss having his warm, sturdy, little body near me everywhere I went…ah, and now I’ve made myself cry!
Edgar’s mum
You’ve hit the nail on the head. Don’t cry! Love him and hold him close! Just as he warms your soul! Cry later my friend!
We truly know how you feel. We have a very very dear friend, whose scottie fought extremely hard for nearly three years to beat bladder cancer, and throughout this time, even before her beloved scottie passed away, many ‘friends’ suggested she ‘get another pup’. I bred a girlie scottie in 1999 – Kelpie: full sister to Bobby and Finlay bred by me in 2003. She took over my heart. Sadly she passed away in 2008 from kidney failure and although I still had scotties around, it took me 5 years to think about wanting another scottie. People don’t understand. They don’t understand that grief affects us all, but in very different ways. I’m like Pam (one spoiled cat) … and my scotties are my life, and always will be. You and Mr Peep will know when, and if, there is a right time for another scottie. Big hugs xxxx
The Stalwart Scots is what I call them. And you’ve had a house full of them! How lucky! I know completely how you feel. And I thank you for your thoughts and friendship across the pond. Hug your babies for me.
You will know when the time is right. And whatever you decide, it will be the best thing for you
Nessa Noodledog mom
Now that’s a wise statement. Thank you Nessa Noodledog Peep!
Say what!!! BOL we are moms kids. It’s all normal feelings, mom felt them too. When Benny passed I had a blast being Queen again. BUT she made a decision to rescue another Fatty, Edward. Edward doesn’t replace Benny, he just adds to our family.
Lily (& Edward)
No, of course Edward doesn’t replace Benny! Never! Your mom was ready to rescue. And cheers for her (and you!). Normal feelings indeed. Y’all are the best for keeping up with The Scottie Chronicles. Thanks so much.
Every different person has their own grieving time – for some it can be a short time and for others a long time – only your own heart will know when it is ready to love again but one thing we do know – the heart has the capacity to love many times – in different ways and for different reasons.
“The heart has the capacity to love many times…” Beautifully put. Lovely. And wise.
Good grief…living beings are never replaced..they are not a broken things about the home ..i have had people argue with me that have one human child saying their loss would be greater than mine if they lost their child as i have 4 kids ????..what are they a dinner set?..and sorry but even family can be a little doolally as well my sweet.
You lost a family member..and a unique little individual…when the stars align you will find a new friend..who will become family..who you will fall in love with..they will bring a different personality and relationship into your home…not a replacement..not a ‘fix’ or cure for your hurt. I guess some peeps will never get it..but that is why we all gather here..we get it..huge hugs and know we understand my friend..Fozziemum xxxx
“A dinner set” – oh boy. Thanks for that laugh. And “doolally” – what a GREAT word. I can always count on your, Fozziemum, for a laugh when I need it most.
I love the way you think. And write.
Welcome my sweets most welcome 🙂 xxxx
Everyone has to get through their grief in their own way and time. My Mom Peep was crying constantly after Kenzie left us. For some unknown reason she kept ;looking at all of the rescue sites she could while tears were still streaming down her face. Two days later she saw this face (mine) at a rescue group in CA.
She couldn’t stop starring at my green eyes and cute face. Lucky for me that after a few phone calls, she was on her way with Dad Peep and Kyla (had to make sure Kyla liked me! because Kyla didn’t understand that Kenzie has crossed the bridge and was sad also) to save me. I had been in a kill shelter with BIG dogs and one bit a little piece out of my ear. I am still a very scared little girl of most things, but I loved Kyla – and Kali now.
I know that she still has her sad moments about Kenzie and Kyla, but I do my best to lick away her tears. Kissing and eating are my favorite pastimes. I was a very lucky puppy.
Kaci, I remember when your mom peep’s devastation took over her. She was lucky and wise to look for you and find you. And lucky for you, too. I’m sure it will happen at my house, I just don’t want to talk about it with people who have $%^& for brains in the compassion department. You are the CUTEST pup!!!!
I understand only too well how you feel. So does everyone whose post I’ve read here so far with many valid points that explain how people and their hearts react to the loss of our pets, which can leave us devastated and unable to cope.
There is not much I can add except to say, thankfully, most people are thoughtful and compassionate in their response to our loss. Some people honestly don’t know what or how to express their sorrow. But it is those whose flippant remarks that leave us utterly astonished that I pity the most. They will never know the joy, the satisfaction and the deep inextricable bond that develops between a person and their pets. It is truly their loss.
Hugs,💘
McDuff’s Mom
It’s all about the bond isn’t it? You’re so right. And I appreciate your comments. Always. Thanks so much.
When the time is right, Stuart will send your next furkid to become part of your family. Some will never understand us and I have learned to let their ignorance wash past me. Luckily there are many wonderful Peeps like all of Blogville who understand what a huge hole is left in our hearts when our furkids have to leave us. Just feel blessed that you are one of us lucky ones that gets to know this kind of love.
Tears are flowing….we are indeed “the lucky ones who know this kind of love.”
Well said my friend, well said.
The most horrible thing anyone ever said was”It’s just a dog, get over it!” When the first Corky died in 1978, the thought of having to go through another death was beyond me. It took 14 years to get another Scottie. The second Corky was worth the wait.
My predecessor, Boomerang, caused Kyla to bark like crazy. My peep went out to see and Boomer landed on his shoulder-that startled him and Boomer flew away only to land on his shoulder for a second time. They couldn’t find Boomer’s owner, even with notices with all the vets in the area. Of course they adopted the cockatiel who was desperate. One co-worker of his who heard the story said. “I would have stomped on it, it was just a bird”.
These comments are making me crazy.
Corkscot, you had the strength of the world to have held back from slugging the person who said that awful thing to you.
Kismet, “just a bird” ???? – truth is sometimes worse than fiction and I couldn’t have made that up. I can’t believe the insensitivity of it all.
Thank goodness for friends.
Some people are just mean, fortunately most people are not. My friend has a sign in her office which says “we are wise, we are kind, we are many” I understand it now and I agree with it. Life is precious and comes in many forms. Stuart got under my skin and into my heart from a distance. My heart doesnt care about distance, it just recognises kindred bird and doggie spirits and celebrates them. ❤
Some people really don’t get it.
No they don’t, but as we’re learning from each other, there are those who get it tenfold and more.
You are a very gracious person, and as such, Mama says you must grind your teeth when even your Sister says stuff like that. We have enjoyed reading everyone’s well thought out and heartfelt response. With regard to several comments expressing ” when you least expect it”, that’s what happened in my case. It was a cold rainy day and Mama was very sad, many months after Noah left her. Her mobile rang and a cheery voice said, “I understand you would like to have another Scottie, and our Rescue has one………” Shazam! This is the Readers Digest Condensed version, but you get the idea. At the right time, when the stars are in alignment. And if you want to tell somebody off and are too nice to do it, Mama does a very professional job………
SHAZAM!!!! I love that. And I love how you came to live in your forever home. What a great story. It is all about timing, isn’t it?
I know that peeps mean well, butts some don’t get it. As everyone else has said, you will know when it’s time.
they REALLY called Stu a skunk?? that’s just wrong. Actually, when Ma was a lass in high school, there was this gurl that did have grey streak down one side of her head, and the mean kids called her skunk too…I can’t repeat when Ma said to them, butts…..
Anyhu, sendin’ lots of {{hugs}}} and a pitcher of margaritas…if you don’t wanna drink it, you can pour it over the head of the next peep that says something off…oh, and can you take a pic, I would loves that! BOL
Kisses,
Ruby ♥
Oh Ruby, you’re such a funny gal. And I love it.
Yes, many people called Stuart a skunk and I told them what I thought. Every time. OR, I’d turn around and Stuart and I would walk off.
Thanks for the margaritas!
Some people are totally clueless. I feel kind of sorry for them. Their experience of life must have the depth of an empty, very small and shallow puddle. All my relationships mean the world to me regardless of the species they belong to. (especially Jack and the honey eater and his family that visit most nights and enjoy my native fuchsias.) 😀 ❤ ❤ ❤
You’re right – the species doesn’t matter at all. What matters is the bond. It’s priceless and a gift that, sadly, as you say, some people will never have. They’re missing out.
You will know when the time is right and angel Stuart will be guiding you with all of his love♥
Thank you for reminding me of that!
I understand you… and I felt the same and I still feel the same…. your heart has the answers for all this questions…. hugs to you and the little angel….
Sweet. Thank you.
You are absolutely right. People can be insensitive to the pain of others. All my warm friendship goes to you both during this difficult time. I miss Stuart too even at a distance.
How very kind. Thank you.
Dear Stu’s Mum,
Sorry I didn’t comment yesterday, but by mistake I cleared all of my email receipts I received yesterday on a new tablet that I got for Christmas. I had been erasing stuff on it before and nothing had erased on my regular computer, and this time, everything erased on my regular computer. I don’t know what I’m doing!
I do want to comment, because I totally agree with you! I go so far as to think of my fur babies as my children!! I totally feel they are part of our family, AND a big part of my heart and soul. I love them just like my children and they fulfill me in many more ways! Your feelings are tender from the recent trauma you have suffered, and it’s only natural. Stu was such a huge part of you and your life, and you loved each other SO much. People who are not fortunate enough to have known the beautiful relationship of sharing one’s life with a beautiful soulmate such as your Stu is, would not be sensitive enough to be understanding. It truly is their loss and I feel sorry that they have not experienced such love!
God bless you and strengthen you!
Stu Angel’s statue is so PRECIOUS! What a Beautiful and Thoughtful gift!
We are thinking of you and holding you up in spirit and prayer!
Love and licky kisses,
Riley-Puppy and Tessie-Girl and their Mum
Such kindness from you, Laura. Thank you. Hug your babies!
Grieving is a process. It may revisit us again and again when reminded of that special being that we lost. We said good bye to our cat of almost 18 years on the Monday before picking Bailey up last year. The vet had given her about 2 weeks and she hung on for another 6. We were truly blessed when we rescued her from the streets. My sons and I cried then and still cry from time to time. I bought a black cat porch ornament for Halloween because it reminded me of her. My 12 year old son came home that day and began to cry when he saw it. The family decided that it should be put away until more healing had taken place. People who have that very special connection to their fur child should take as long as needed. Although we love Bailey, she is not a replacement for Alley Cat and it would be wrong to expect that of her. Take care of yourself and keep remembering those special times with a very special being, Stuart.