Too many lost

Beloved Winston and his pal Sherlock.

Peepstress here. Sorry. I know you were expecting Winston’s words of wisdom. He’s been tied up over on Instagram lately. Those posts automatically feed to my Facebook account and to his Twitter feed.

It may appear that we’ve abandoned The Scottie Chronicles. Never!

But has it really been that long since he blogged? Since December 2021? Hopefully, he won’t mind that I write today about something troubling me.

I’m saddened every time I learn of a Scottie’s passing over the bridge. Seems like it’s happening with more frequency. Or maybe I just follow too many Scottie news stories. And too many Scottie social media sites. Too many Scottie blogs and social media groups.

Young pups, rescues, older loved ones. It’s all sad. It’s too sad.

Precious Stuart.

December was especially hard this time around. I’m not sure why. Stuart passed on Dec. 12, 2015. You’d think things would have calmed in my mind since then. But no. Every time I hear of a Scottie passing, I sink to gut wrenching depths of mourning. “Gut wrenching” describes it perfectly. Like your insides have been sucked out, strewn on the ground and stepped on. Repeatedly. Especially your heart. And your brain. You know it happened, but you just can’t understand it. You keep reliving it over and over. What could you have done differently? Why did it have to happen? And you never want to live through it again. You swear to yourself that you’ll never allow your heart or your mind to get that close again. Ever.

Some of you know exactly what I mean. Others don’t. Others won’t. And others think of dogs as simple possessions. Or distractions to be returned to wherever they came from when COVID became too much.

Our introduction to Scotties: BoBo.

Around Dec. 12, 2021, a friend messaged me. A blog and social media friend I’ve never met and probably never will. But one who knows me enough to say, “I’m thinking about you.”

Sometimes this virtual world can be too much. And sometimes it can be just right.

Thank you for caring.

About The Scottie Chronicles

Winston welcomes you to The Scottie Chronicles - a blog that began in 2009 as a voice for Stuart, a more than memorable black, brindle and white Scottish Terrier who captured hearts around the world. Stuart passed suddenly in December 2015 from cardiac hemangiosarcoma, a nasty cancer that took him far too early. If you love Scotties, please follow along. Arroooo!
This entry was posted in friendship, grief, love, pets, Scottie health, Scotties, Scottish Terriers, The Scottie Chronicles. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Too many lost

  1. I feel like you, the time does not much for me …hugs to you…

  2. varaderocan says:

    I can totally relate. I follow a few Scottie groups on FB. There are days when I cannot even cope with the losses of precious souls that I never even knew. My two dogs are my world since my husband passed two years ago and I am on my own. Actually … I am not on my own. I have my faithful Scottie, Molly Mia, and her nutbar brother, an English Springer Spaniel named Riley (Riley had been a Christmas present to my husband just before he passed). Molly and I are finally adjusting to his antics.

  3. nordhuesn says:

    Mom is not on FB but she is on IG and thought she saw you out there (Winstonscot1747?). The heart does get torn into bits each time one passes on, and Mom says her heart aches so much sometimes. But she also says there is much love left to give and we should pass it on as much as we can. The four legged’s also appreciate it more than the 2 legged’s most of the time. You are a part of our socials family and we know December was a rough one for you. So we reached out to be sure nothing was amiss. My previous brothers McGee, Max, Schnapps and Duffy along with my sister Elsa are never forgotten and were much loved til old ages. Take care and Scottie on. XXOO Andy, Ruby and Mom

  4. Kismet says:

    We miss Stuart also. Kyla loved Stu.

  5. WestScott says:

    Dear Peepstress, your words so accurately describe the same feelings I have that they’re difficult for me to read. We have been through 8 losses, each one different and extremely difficult. Every time the question is “How will I/we ever get past this?”, followed by the statement “No more – I/we can’t go through this again!” This has not yet happened.

    In the span of 1 year and 9 days (11/13/20 to 11/22/21), we lost all 3 of our dogs (one Westie and two Scotties). It was really unbearable. But the worst of all was the Scottie we lost on March 18, 2021. He was to us like Stuart was to you – absolutely everything. In the morning he was his usual happy, playful self. A little after noon I could tell he wasn’t feeling right. By 2:15 we were at the vet’s, and by 4:30 it was all over. Apparently something ruptured and he was bleeding internally. While we would have done anything to save him, the prognosis was grim and he would have suffered terribly, which we would never allow. He may have had what Stuart had, but on his spleen.

    I have never been through anything so horrible and devastating in my life. The events of the day kept playing over and over in my head, and I couldn’t block them out. I couldn’t stop crying, I couldn’t breathe right because the grief was choking me, and I couldn’t eat or sleep. This went on for so long that I really thought I was going to need professional help. Then my mother’s mental health took a turn for the worst, so my focus needed to shift so I could move her into assisted living, followed by cleaning out and selling her house. Now my brain won’t allow me to re-live the events of March 18, and I’m glad about that.

    “No more” has resulted in 2 new rescue Scotties. They are wonderful, we love them to pieces, and we are glad to have them. However, I’m really dreading March 18, and wonder if I’ll ever be able to wash off the nose prints that have been on my car windows from last March 18.

    Sometime after December 12, 2015, I stumbled upon “The Scottie Chronicles”. I don’t remember where I started, but the posts were great and I wanted to read them all, so every day I read a few. I felt like I was really getting to know Stuart. At some point something I read made it obvious that something not good was going to happen. My heart sank. This was not what I wanted to read about, or where I wanted Stuart’s story to go. It was very depressing, so I stopped reading. One evening I gathered my courage, went into a bathroom, closed the door (I knew this wasn’t going to go well), and started to read. And I cried my eyes out. I could feel that horrible pain in my heart for a Scottie and his owners I had never met.

    Bottom line: I so feel your pain and understand your feelings, but thank you so much for sharing Stuart, and now Winston, with us.

    (I apologize for writing so much, but it’s very therapeutic to share these feelings with others who understand.)

    • Never, ever apologize for saying what you feel. No matter how many words it takes. Your “writing so much” means the world to me. Your pain is palpable. I’ve taken so long to respond and I’m sorry for that. I thought about sending you an email. Then, I thought “nope, this is a public discussion” so let’s continue. Your trauma over the last year is heartbreaking. And even that word doesn’t capture the real feeling. Trouble is, how to put these feeling into words? You can’t. But you do feel it. Just as I felt your pain. And still do. It takes your breath away. I wish I could hop through the computer and give you a hug. Here’s hoping our words to each other help in some way. However small. Over the past several years I’ve struggled with keeping up the blog. Not because I don’t want to, but because of time. But your response to this post shows me that I must continue to make the time. If these posts and this blog brings joy, comfort, laughter or therapy to you and you alone, that’s all that matters.

      This world we now live in is so different from Stuart’s world. And even Winston’s World when he came to live with us.

      The one constant is our love for this earth, humankind and – without a doubt – our furiends. Who want nothing more than to share joy with us.

      WestScott, I pray you stay in touch. You’re such a loyal Scottie Chronicles connection. Your comments and thoughts are a salve to my own grief.

      Stuart’s passing changed my life. And I fear your Scot’s passing last March may have been as you fear, the hemangiosarcoma we experienced.

      Thank you for sharing your journey to The Scottie Chronicles and your journey over the last year.

      May you find peace and comfort in the memories of all companion anipals in your care.

      With strength, I remain

      The Peepstress

  6. Momma wuz just thinking about Whitley today – da pain (and da love) never really goes away.

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